Bizarro Police Reports

NEW SECTION: We're launching a new feature highlighting the most unusual police reports from across Northeast Ohio. These are real incidents that show the lighter, stranger side of law enforcement - proving that truth really is stranger than fiction. Animal Antics Medina Police Battle Back-to-Back Barnyard Breakouts Goats Go Rogue in Repeat Performance Medina police had their hands full with escaped farm animals this week in what they dubbed a "Moo-ving Violation & Goat on the Lam." Officers first responded Tuesday morning before 8 a.m. to wrangle a cow and goat found wandering around the Medina Municipal Airport in Sharon Township. Police joked the duo were "clearly on an unauthorized field trip." The very next day, officers were called to round up another wayward goat near the Krabill Shelter in Lafayette Township. "It's goat season in Medina, apparently!" the department posted on social media. Crime & Misdemeanors Luxury Car Thieves Drive Through Showroom Window Three High-End Vehicles Still Missing After Brazen Heist Jackson Township police are searching for three luxury cars stolen from a dealership showroom early Friday morning after thieves used a car to crash through the showroom window at Jeff's Motor Sports. Officers responded around 3 a.m. to the business alarm on Dressler Road NW and found evidence of forced entry. Four vehicles were initially stolen, but Walton Hills Police recovered a 2022 BMW Model M760 the same day. The remaining three luxury vehicles are still missing. DIY Fireworks Project Goes Horribly Wrong Man Hospitalized After Homemade Explosives Detonate at Mobile Home A 22-year-old Springfield Township man was seriously injured Saturday when homemade fireworks he was constructing exploded inside his mobile home on Coach Lane. Neighbors heard the blast followed by screams and rushed to help with first aid while windows blew out and glass scattered everywhere. Police found the man with traumatic injuries to his eye, face and hand. During their investigation, officers discovered multiple additional explosive devices and bomb-making materials throughout the home. The Summit County Sheriff's Office Bomb Squad was called to secure and dispose of the undetonated devices. Police Chief Jack Simone said the man was likely making the fireworks "for self use, personal use or maybe to try and sell them," but noted that constructing homemade explosives is both illegal and extremely dangerous. Professional Honey Bun Thief Busted Gas Station Employee's Daily Bread Becomes Police Case West Akron gas station employees reported a man who steals honey buns every day and sells them at a nearby restaurant for a dollar. Police found the suspect on Crosby Street, where he admitted taking the buns on three occasions and said he was due in court on an unrelated offense. Officers confiscated a large butcher knife protruding from his pocket, a bottle of body wash and several pouches of tuna for safekeeping before arresting him for theft. Unusual Items Stolen From Truck Akron Man Arrested for Stealing Tattoo Kit and Audio Equipment An Akron man was charged with felony theft after he allegedly stole a tattoo kit, subwoofers and an amplifier, total value $1,800, from a truck parked on Kubler Trail. The unusual combination of stolen items suggests the suspect either had very specific interests or was targeting items for quick resale. Ice Cream Sandwiches Hidden in Pants Barberton Woman's Creative Shoplifting Method Fails Police responded to a Fifth Street Northeast business for a theft where an employee reported a woman took three ice cream sandwiches, hid them in her pants and left without paying. The East State Street woman was later charged with theft for the unusual concealment method. Man Takes Bath in Church Baptismal Font West Akron Burglar Cleans Up After Unusual Break-in Police investigated a suspicious person at a Slosson Street church and found a man carrying a wet/dry vacuum who admitted to breaking into the church. He told officers he pulled hard enough to get the door open, entered and took a bath in the baptismal font. When water leaked on the floor, he took the vacuum to clean it up. Police found damage to the door and money missing, leading to charges for criminal damaging and trespassing. Shape-Shifting Guitar Instructor Confusion Norton Man's Drug-Induced Police Encounter Norton police responded to reports of a man yelling out the window of a Mount Vernon Boulevard residence. The man admitted having used drugs earlier that day and mistook a police officer for a shape-shifting guitar instructor. He was transported to a hospital for a psychiatric evaluation. Mystery Wig Vandalism Green Resident Finds Unusual Tailpipe Sabotage A South Arlington Road man reported an unknown person inserted a wig into the tailpipe of his vehicle. The motive behind the unusual automotive vandalism remains unclear, and no arrests were made in the peculiar case. Dumpster-Dwelling Trespassers Caught Coventry Depu