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Across Northeast Ohio right now—in community Facebook groups from Stow to Aurora, and in group texts between friends in Hudson—one surprisingly emotional topic keeps popping up: baby and wedding showers where the gifts are not opened in front of guests.
What used to be a predictable finale in a Cuyahoga Falls banquet hall—cake, coffee, and an hour of unwrapping—has shifted. At some showers today, the party wraps up, the honoree thanks everyone, and the unopened gifts head straight to the car. For some, this feels efficient and modern. For others, it’s almost unthinkable.
These aren’t theoretical debates. They’re coming from real people across the region, reacting to real events they’ve attended.
“Old School” Expectations: Respect, Ritual, and the Joy of Wrapping Paper
In online discussions from Parma to Mentor, a familiar sentiment appears: public gift‑opening isn’t just tradition—it’s respect. One woman described a recent wedding shower this way:
“Went to a wedding shower where none of the gifts were opened at the shower. After eating and playing a few games the bride-to-be packed all of the unopened gifts into her car and took them home. Nobody got to see any of the gifts the bride got! Is this a new trend? If so what is the reason? I always thought watching the bride open the gifts was so everyone could enjoy seeing all the gifts that she received. Has anyone experienced this? Is this the future of wedding/baby showers? I’m ‘old school’ and am perplexed by this!”
Others in Strongsville and Brunswick echoed the feeling that skipping the unwrapping is more than a minor tweak—it’s a breach of etiquette.
“It is weird and confusing. Same thing happened at a baby ‘sprinkle’ I went to. It’s like, seriously? People took the time, thought and money into buying these gifts and you’re not going to open them? It comes off rude to me. I mean I get it can be boring and take awhile to get through presents, but it’s being polite and respectful.”
The pleasure isn’t just in the reaction—it starts before the party even begins. One longtime gift‑giver in Mayfield Heights lamented:
“I personally always enjoyed choosing the prettiest wrapping paper and ribbon when I had to wrap a gift. All part of the fun of giving. Guess I like tradition as well, I enjoy the gift unwrapping. Hope this won’t be the next set of lay offs, gift wrapping etc. companies 🥺”
For many in more traditional circles, the shower is also one of the few times extended family comes together. One commenter tied that directly to generational tension:
“I think Gen X and later have much different standards. Showers are places where the matriarchs of the family all get together (moms, grammas, aunts, cousins) which rarely happens anymore. Is it boring? Sure. But you get to mingle with family you rarely see and Gen Z is a bit selfish and doesn’t see that. They truly are the take the gifts and run generation… Hanging around and opening gifts is a small price to pay for asking people you hardly know to stock your life with things you can’t afford without their help.”
Some put it even more bluntly:
“If you don’t want to have a shower people can just send stuff to your house. If you have a shower open the gifts, eat some food, laugh. And we will call it successful. The new style of life and new traditions are just plain awful.”
The Case for Change: Boredom, Time, and Social Comfort
On the flip side, plenty of residents in Lakewood and Beachwood—especially younger hosts and honorees—see things very differently. They argue that what looks like disrespect is often about practicality and people‑focused priorities. One expectant mom who recently hosted a large baby shower explained:
“We did this… and my guests were more than relieved we didn’t sit there and spend 2 hours opening gifts. Honestly, as someone who attends many showers… that part is soo boring I can care less what they are getting… With close to 60 people there it would have taken forever to get through the gifts and I wouldn’t have gotten a chance to mingle and actually enjoy the company of my guests.”
She pushed back on the idea that skipping the ritual is selfish:
“Just because someone doesn’t like it or agree doesn’t mean it’s wrong. Honestly, I dread the present part at every single shower… if someone has something worth opening I’m sure that the guest of honor would gladly open for others to see.”
Others are even more direct: “Am I the only one who thinks it’s boring to watch somebody open all those gifts?” Another person framed it around what showers should be about: “I don’t see a problem with it. The point is the celebration and the support. If it’s to celebrate the gifts/gift givers then that’s backwards thinking… Again, the celebration is the point.”
Display Showers and “Please Don’t Wrap”: The Compromise Trend
To bridge the gap between “respect” and “please, no two‑hour unwrapping,” a growing number of hosts in Akron and Avon are embracing “display showers” or “no‑wrap showers.”
“Last baby shower I attended was a ‘please do not wrap’ and place on the display table. I thought it was brilliant! Saved you paper and ribbon and everyone could see what she got without hours of opening gifts.”
Another person highlighted the environmental and social benefits: “I’ve seen where they ask to bring your gifts unwrapped. And they are displayed – more to be environmentally friendly. And everyone gets to see the gifts & allows more time to socialize.”
The Money Question: Rising Costs and Shorter Timelines
There’s also a practical layer that rarely makes it into etiquette debates: the cost of hosting. A poster from Columbus laid out the math behind why some parties simply don’t have an hour to spare:
“In two years time frame the place we held our engagement party went from a food and beverage minimum to use their event space to $400 per hour to rent the event space plus a food and beverage minimum. And when a few places start charging that way, they all start charging that way… You can’t expect people to be able to host events these days at this cost that carves out an hour plus to sit and open gifts.”
They added that even home events in places like Twinsburg aren’t cheap: “Events can be thrown at home but that doesn’t save money, it’s just being spent differently on catering and tables and chairs which also have gone up in price. It’s not about being spoiled or disrespectful. It’s about maximizing the time available with guests at such a high price.”
Registries, Honey Funds, and the Changing Nature of Gifts
The rise of registries and cash‑based gifting has transformed the dynamics, too. In Facebook groups from Canton to Boardman, people mention “Honeyfunds,” Venmo, and cash boxes as standard now. One parent of a bride described a very modern approach:
“Yes, this is a thing! Also a new trend is money gifts, for example my daughter’s wedding registry was simply the link to their honey fund! There was one small gift from her bridal party that was symbolic of the wished honeymoon destination! But we had a great time and so did the guests!!!”
Another commenter appreciated the shift away from what they see as gift competition: “I love this new trend! Somehow along the way wedding showers and baby showers became a competition of who got the best gift! … To be honest I don’t really care to see what each person who attended your shower got for you. Now that being said, it is nice to receive a thank you for the gift that I so thoughtfully gave to you or the baby.”
Hanging Onto the Old Traditions—On Purpose
Of course, not everyone is ready to give up the gift circle. One mother shared a story from her daughter’s recent bridal shower in the Akron area:
“Sorry to hear about the current trend. Fortunately, my daughter didn’t follow it. Last fall, at her wedding shower, her fiancé joined us and they both opened the gifts together. After opening each gift, they thanked the person(s) and made a few special remarks. They did this on their own without any prompting from anyone else. It was a beautiful shower! ❤️”
For families like hers, the answer isn’t to abolish the ritual—it’s to do it more thoughtfully and intentionally.
What Modern Shower Etiquette Really Reveals
Zooming out, what’s happening in Elyria, Lakewood, and Stow isn’t just a fight over wrapping paper; it’s a negotiation over what we value most in our limited time together.
Is a shower primarily about gifts and formal gratitude, witnessed by everyone? Or is it about conversation, connection, and not subjecting 60 people to two hours of polite clapping?
From “plain awful” to “brilliant,” Ohioans are clear about one thing: they care deeply about how we show appreciation and how we use these milestone moments to connect. However people choose to handle gifts—traditional unwrapping, display tables, or no‑open policies—the heart of modern shower etiquette may simply be this: being intentional about the time, the people, and the thanks.
Note: Some city names and identifying details have been changed to protect the anonymity of contributors.
Editor’s Note: The pink handbag featured in our modern shower etiquette series can be found here.